love questions

Will i ever find the one ?  , the question that i ask myself every time a relationship fails, a feeling fades, or boyfriend ends. convincing myself everytime that i found the one only to get proved that one is always the one for that hour, that day or week or month never amounting into what i expected them to be . expecting the moments to turn into memories but always fading into barley remembered afterthoughts. why do i let myself fall so deep  just  to wake up on the floor alone and bruised. why do i put my all into every person that i fall for, why do i ask myself these same damn questions and ending up with the same results.... torturing myself into insecurity with every new man just counting the expected seconds he will leave as well, brushing off the letdown , parading around with an independent  attitude that never matched the hurt in my eyes. so now im laying here again tonight re collecting my thoughts and coming up with nothing.